you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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