It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
