I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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