Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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