is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
