I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
