On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
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My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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