everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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