omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
