physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
