I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
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we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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