We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
