youre lurking in front of me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
