Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize