Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
