My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
vagina is talking i cant
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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