You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
