my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm both gender and math confused
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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