please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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