R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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