Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He shit in the fireplace
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
