but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I have fence marks all over my body
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
