you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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