my vag is so smooth its legendary
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
