i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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