And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
