i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
