when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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