Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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