Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
