I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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