I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
