watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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