I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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