This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
