I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
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I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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