If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
and you fell through a lawn chair
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
