I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
