Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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