ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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