I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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