I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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