I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
When are your genitals available?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize