My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
