2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
