You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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