i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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