He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
