wat bout pragnant strippers??
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
