You really coming over, don't trick.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Hippo gnu deer
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
