so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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