According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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