Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
