Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
