just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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