she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize