Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
