That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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