i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
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I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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