For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
