so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My life is pants optional.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
