Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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