No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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