The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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