Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
