I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
